Lessons That I Am Learning

This past year was one of immense growth for me. I still am learning things daily, and God is revealing portions of His heart to me. It hurts, but it’s needed. On my facebook I posted a general outline of what happened in my year, but I wanted to delve a little deeper, and I figured that this would be the place to do it. Only people who are truly interested in me would come to my blog, so that is why I’m putting this here. This past year I had quite a few new experiences and am still working on the lessons that come out of those experiences. I still don’t understand everything, but I am desperately trying to learn what God is teaching me. I also struggle with applying concepts to my life, so that’s another thing that I am working on. So here is what I am working on currently.

Self-esteem. On more than one occasion my self-esteem fell to the ground and shattered into a million pieces. I don’t think a day goes by when I don’t quote Ephesians 2:10 to myself. I’m trying to place my self worth in the fact that God loves me and cares for me. I am valuable, and I am His creation. That is my value. I am a beloved daughter of the king, and there is nothing that I can do that will take that away. It’s hard because I am such an independent perfectionist. I want everything to be perfect and beautiful, and I can do it by myself. Well, that’s what I like to tell myself, and that’s what I am trying to break. It’s not through my strength, but His.

Vulnerability. Wow, talk about something that I just don’t do. I have layers upon layers of walls around my heart, and I rarely let anyone break past those barriers. This is especially hard when it comes to females. I’ve been so burned by females that I just don’t want to let them see me. However, I am learning the beauty in being real with people. I don’t have to pretend I’m perfect or strong… because I’m not, and that’s okay. That’s what God and my community is for. They are there to help and guide me. This is something that I struggle with probably more than anything else, but I am seeing how God is working on that in my life.

The importance of crying. Yes, I did just say that. Crying is good and necessary. For anyone who knows me well, they know that I have this issue with displaying any emotion that would be perceived as weakness. Crying falls under this category. I think that this past year is the only time I can say I had a truly broken heart (And yes, it came from a guy) and I remember talking to my friend Sarah about the situation. I remember that she just looked at me and told me to cry. I was like, uh, no? I don’t do crying. And she told me to cry… and eventually I broke down. God is definitely working on softening my heart in this area. I still don’t like to cry with anyone around, but it’s healthy. God made me with emotions, and it’s okay to display those emotions at the proper times.

Having fun. Okay, so I take myself way too seriously. I grew up way before I should have, and didn’t listen to my dad when he told me to enjoy being a kid. I think part of the reason why I always had an aversion to having fun was because of my responsibilities. I have been a leader in so many areas that I didn’t know how to balance that with relaxing. Ever since I started college God has been showing me to just enjoy life. I’m the little one, and don’t have nearly the amount of responsibilities that I did before. It’s okay to love the little things and appreciate every little blessing that comes my way.

Healthy relationships. I don’t know how many unhealthy relationships I had to deal with this past year. I have this issue with caring about other people too much and not drawing lines. My heart was taken advantage of by many people, and I let it happen because “I was a leader and that’s what leaders do.” What I didn’t realize is that I was exerting all my strength into trying to fix everyone else’s lives while not caring for my own. I don’t mean to sound selfish here, but God created us to be in healthy community. That type of community depends on people giving and taking, not just taking. However, God is also showing me that when it is imperative for me to give more than receive He is always there to be my constant source of strength and life. He keeps me going.

Praying for wisdom. This is one thing that I know is a no brainer, but it is something that I am recognizing the importance of each and every day. This year a lot of people came to me with a lot of heavy issues, and I didn’t have any advice to offer. During these times I prayed to God for wisdom, but I am trying to apply this principle to all of my actions. A lot of the time God tells me that what I have planned and what He has planned are not the same things, and I am trying to trust Him in that.

So yeah, that’s where I’m at. I know there is more stuff that I have started the learning process for, but I can’t think of it right now. It’s been a tough year emotionally but I think that in a lot of aspects God is teaching me how to be healthier spiritually and emotionally. Even though it’s painful, it’s good. Thanks for allowing me to share with ya’ll. If you have any advice/wisdom I would really appreciate it. Love you guys!

Princesses

Princess

This is a fascinating little word that sparks the imaginations of females of all ages. From ball gowns, to glass slippers, to poisoned apples, to spinning needles, and of course to the handsome prince we all have ideas about being princesses. However, there are many interpretations of the word and not all of them are positive. Along with all of the fantasy you have a state of helplessness; she always depends on a prince to save her. This word is complex and I never tire from analyzing it. I find it quite interesting and cannot get away from it. This concept has infiltrated media in every form, but why is it so intriguing? I wish I had a straightforward answer to that question, but alas, I do not. However, here are my random observations and thoughts on the topic and reasons why I believe females are captivated by this word.

1) Princesses are beautiful. Princesses are what I would call the epitome of beauty. In both literature and movies the princesses are always some of the most gorgeous girls you can find. They might not always be the best looking, but they are always the most beautiful. They possess patience, love, as well as hair that is never anything less than perfect. Their beauty extends far below the surface and is apparent to all those who come into contact with them. This is the desire of every female that I know of. While they may not all be searching for the same form of beauty, they all desire to be called beautiful. It is an inherent longing and I believe it is one of the biggest reasons why they are fascinated with the concept of princesses.

2) Princesses are always part of an adventure. Okay, so in every princess story something happens to our lovely protagonists. This adventure comes in all sizes, shapes, and forms. Their lives are shaken and they set out on a perilous journey. I know that adventure is something I long for, and I know that many other females long for adventure too. Yeah, some of us may say that we don’t want our lives shaken, but honestly, we do. A flat and boring life has no appeal and we are always looking for something new, fresh, and exciting. I just pray that my adventure does not come in the form of a poisoned apple…

3) Princesses always get the man of their dreams. Generally our leading ladies need to be rescued from their adventures and who does this? Prince Charming. Now if I may go on a side tangent here, I am going to be honest and say I feel sorry for the “Prince Charmings” in these stories. Prince Charming generally is a flat character who is handsome and would do anything for his princess. Besides having a great smile, that’s about it for Prince Charming; he simply is just charming. Poor guy… Anyway, I think that each little girl (and yes, I am a little girl at heart) just wants her own happy ever after with her prince. Someone who is extremely loving and is perfectly compatible with his princess. I once had a guy friend remark to me that “When I find the right girl, she will be my princess and I will want to treat her as such.” At first glance I thought that was a cheesy statement, but I could see the sincerity in his heart and realized that is probably one of the sweetest statements I have ever heard. We want to be cherished and appreciated which is the end result for every princess.

I am sure there are more reasons, but I am not thinking of them right now. These are the main ones that I have and I would love to hear any thoughts and comments you may have. I do know many real life princesses and am very blessed to have them in my life. But before I end this note I have to remark that Cinderella is the best princess. Know you may be sitting there asking yourself why I would say this, and my answer is simple, she had amazing shoes. That’s all… Now I must be off to cook and clean while singing… I think that is a requirement for the princess lifestyle I am trying to implement in my life. (And yes, Snow White would sing My Chemical Romance if she lived in this time period.)

Love

This was a speech I competed with in my senior year of high school.

In his article “The Hunger of Humanity” Aaron Pluim said,

Love. We all crave it. We were made for it, and if we don’t receive it, some essential part of our hearts undoubtedly fades away. To love and be loved are not just innate desires, they are life or death needs.

In North American society and culture where looking "Calm, cool and collected" is considered an asset, the need for love is often believed to be a weakness instead of appreciated as a quality of one’s humanity―made in the image of the God who loves. And so, ... one can put on a mask that asserts to others they, "Have it all together" in an attempt to hide their cavernous inner hunger to be treasured, understood, held, heard ... loved. Whether one is successful at hiding their eternal heartache for love, the fact remains: We all desperately crave love, to give it and to receive it. (Pluim, pars. 10-11)

When we stop and think about relationships as presented in that quote we can see that there is something wrong with our current system. That is why today I will be talking about the importance of love and relationships in our everyday lives. As we consider this we will be asking ourselves three very important questions: "Why is love so important?", "Why are afraid to love?", and "How can we conquer our fear of love, so that we may not only give but also receive love?"

Let's start with the first question, why is love so important to our lives? The best way I can think of to answer this question is through a story I once heard. At my church there is a man who runs a ministry to homeless kids in Boulder. One day this man came across a young lady, and he did what he normally does with any teenager, he gave her a hug and started talking to her about her life. He chose to witness to her through his love. A few weeks went by and he saw the young lady again, but this time she had friends with her. When he went over to give her a hug, she introduced him as her "spiritual mentor", but the strange thing is that he hadn't been trying to preach to her, he had just been showing her love and compassion. But through this act he was able to change her outlook on life. That is why love and relationships are so important. Mother Teresa exemplified this when she said, ""Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat."" Within each and every person is a hunger to show love to others, and to feel loved in return. Relationships are extremely important to us, and when we don't have those connections we begin a downward spiral into loneliness. Loneliness is a terrible poverty, and is rampant in America. The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that approximately 9.5% of adults living in America suffer from depression, and I believe that is because we are failing to make meaningful relationships. We are adding to that poverty, by not reaching out and connecting with other people. Relationships are the most important aspect of our lives, and when we fail to make them we become broken people.

Now if we recognize that love is the most important aspect of our lives, we are presented with a very difficult question, why are we afraid to love? I believe that as humans we recognize the value of love in our lives, so why don't we make these connections? It is because we have twisted the meaning of true love. In his article "The Danger of Love" Ben Swain answered this question saying,

It’s the same thing that has wounded God's heart: The sinfulness of man. Each of us has sought to give our love to someone only to have it unreturned, taken advantage of, or betrayed.

Often we are betrayed by ourselves, allowing what we thought was our expression and reception of love to be twisted into a sweet looking poison that destroys our own soul. So we respond by keeping our love to ourselves and building walls to keep people at a "safe" distance.

... We isolate ourselves from having to give any of our own heart away and protect ourselves from ever being in a position where someone can hurt us. We respond by doing what we were not created for: Existing outside of love." (Swain, pars. 3-6)

Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, to be weak, is the hardest thing for us to do and that is what true love is. However, our current view of love is a grotesque form that goes completely against true love. The ultimate source of love is God. He defined what it is in 1 Corinthians 13 saying, “"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."” (New International Version, 1 Cor. 13.4-13.7) Does this passage match up with what our culture says love is? No it does not, in any way, shape, or form. We are told by the media that love makes you fulfilled, completes you. This focus of love is completely on yourself, but we can see that pure love is not self centered, its focus is on the other person's well being. Our hearts have been broken by what we call love, and that is why we are skeptical of relationships.

This leads us to the last question presented, "How can we conquer our fear of love, so that we may not only give but receive love?" The answer is simple to hear, but hard in practice. The first step is to acknowledge that our current portrayal of love is completely wrong. Once we do that, we need to turn to the ultimate source of love, and that is God. We need to see ourselves as Christ sees us, and that is abounding love and grace. We are all fallen people, so it is especially important to realize that we are going to stumble every now and then when it comes to rules. We also need to realize that others are going to fall into the same trap, and that is when we need to extend love and grace. When we mess up we need to learn from our mistakes and turn to God's grace. After we turn to the amazing love that God offers us we can start tearing down our masks of pride, hatred, anger, and depression. I am not saying that any of these things will not come back to haunt us, but in order for us to reach out, we must start removing them through God's help. Through His strength we can conquer anything. What we have shaped ourselves into is a distorted view of how we were created to be. Without the demolition of these walls our attempts at love will be futile. Only after we do this can we start giving and receiving love while building up our community. Relationships will hurt, community will fail you, that is inevitable. But when we realize that there is more to our lives than hiding we can start opening up to the world around us. When we feel weak we can always draw upon the love that Christ presents to us, and only then we can start making vital connections.

Today we examined three of the toughest questions presented to our culture and through all of this we have seen why love is so important. We have also seen how our fears keep us from reaching out. Finally we examined how we can reach out to others around us. We must stop our hiding behind walls and get our hands dirty. Relationships are hard, time consuming, and painful, but that shouldn't stop us. In one of the closing chapters to Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller presented an idea that dislodged my way of thinking. He said,

We value people, ... We invest in people, ... Relationships can be bankrupt, ... People are priceless, ... All economic metaphor.

... The problem ... is we think of love as a commodity. We use it like money. ... If somebody is doing something for us, offering us something, be it gifts, time, popularity, or what have you, we feel they have value, we feel they are worth something to us, and, perhaps, we feel they are priceless... With love, we withheld affirmation from the people who did not agree with us, but we lavishly financed the ones who did. (218)

This economic metaphor must go. We need to stop withholding our love from others and start to make relationships. How much longer will we continue to destroy other lives simply because we don't want to give out love to those who don't agree with us? As humans we depend on others being there for us, helping us, guiding us, and caring for us. If we start to build up a community in which we can actively participate we will have those people there for us and we will be letting others know that they are cared for and loved. We will be filling that essential part of in all of our hearts that thrives on relationships giving us longer more fulfilling lives. That is why today I encourage you stop hiding within yourself, and start to make the most important connections that you can ever have, those made in love. Don't expect to be perfect, and don't expect that you won't mess up. You will, but that is okay, live in a life of grace. Remember 1 Corinthians 13? In the last verse we are told, “"now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”” (1 Cor. 13:13)

Redheads

This is my first non-serious post. This is a speech that I competed with in my senior year of high school.

"Anne Shirley, What have you done to your hair?"”
“"I thought nothing could be as bad as red hair, green is ten times worse."”

This scene was taken from the movie based off of Lucy Maud Montgomery's classic novel, Anne of Green Gables. In this story a young girl named Anne must endure many trials as she grows up, the main one being her red hair. So in one scene she buys hair dye hoping to change her cursed appearance, but in the end it only causes her more trouble. Her sentiments are shared by many young redheaded children. When we are little our hair is a source of unnecessary attention, so we wish it away. But generally we grow to love our red locks and somehow learn to take pride in them. Join me today as we observe the lives of that particular group of people, the redheads. As we do this we will examine the science behind red hair, significant redheads in history, and finally the stereotypes placed upon them.

It is obvious there is a small group of people in this world that posses red hair, but what causes this obscure pigmentation? This question leads me to the first point in my speech, an observation of genetics and the color red. Within our bodies we have DNA strands that dictate how we look, and these strands are based on our genes. In redheads there is a change on a specific gene, called the melanocortin 1 receptor, and this causes red hair. Jonathan Rees who is a Professor of Dermatology at the University of Edinburgh explained this change saying,

Six or seven years ago we identified the gene for red hair in humans. It is called the melanocortin 1 receptor. ... Everybody has two copies of the gene, one from the mother and one from the father, but there are differences.. which mean that some people have different copies from others. Surprisingly, this gene is very polymorphic (variable) with over 30 differences so far recognised ...

People who possess one 'different copy' of this gene do not usually have red hair but, if you inherit different copies from both mother and father, then you are very likely to have red hair.

All of this may sound confusing, because well, it is. The human body is a complex system of codes that produce very different results from person to person. But the main thing to remember is that everyone has two genes in them that are capable of producing red hair. Generally copper hair only comes with a mutation on both of these genes, although it is possible to have red hair with only one mutation.

So now that we know the basic principles behind red hair we are going to turn our focus from science to history. Now if I asked you to sit down and write a list of redheads throughout history you may come up with such names as Raggedy Ann, Anne of Green Gables or Ronald McDonald. But your list probably wouldn't be much longer than that. This is most likely because redheads comprise only a small percent of the population. National Geographic shows us just how rare redheads are when they say, “"... less than two per cent of the world's population has natural red hair, ..."”. But size doesn't matter, right? It is the actions and contributions from the men and women that we must consider, and Cort Cass did exactly that when he presented the following names in his book, "The Redhead Handbook." When we look into history we find that there are many redheads that have made significant contributions to our world. For example did you know that Christopher Columbus is said to have had red hair? That's right, the famous explorer who lead the way for colonization in the Americas is described as being a redhead. Looking to the arts and sciences as we add Galileo Galilei who is known for his contributions to astronomy, Antonio Vivaldi for his work in music composition, and Vincent Van Gogh for his paintings. Turning to politics, we can examine the list of American presidents and see that 7 out of 43 presidents are reported as having red hair. The list of these men is: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Martin Van Buren, Andrew Jackson, Ulysses S. Grant, Calvin Coolidge, and Dwight Eisenhower. That means that 16% of our presidents have had red hair. Compare that to the 2% of people worldwide. In the political realm we can also add Queen Elizabeth I and Henry VIII. These two people are some of the most influential royal names that are said to have had copper locks. Finally what list of redheads would be complete without mentioning America's favorite ginger, Lucille Ball. But did you know that this famous comedian did not have natural red hair? It's true. This star used a dye named henna to change her appearance from a brunette to a redhead. However, this amazing lady captured the heart and spirit that many redheads posses, and she opened the way for those with red hair in the entertainment industry. As you can see our world has been greatly influenced by the work of redheads and the accomplishments from these men and women will forever be written in history.

However, even though redheads have greatly added to our world, they are still certain perceptions about them. In our society there are stereotypes about people with every hair color, but with redheads there are some that are especially well-known. We are going to go through and look at some of these stereotypes in this last examination of Cort Cass' “"Three Biggest Myths About Redheads"”.

Stereotype #1: “"We are all related"”. I can speak from personal experience, if people see two redheads walking down the street together, they usually assume that these redheads are related to each other in some way. I have several redheaded friends and there have been countless times that we have been asked if we are siblings or cousins. There are many types of redheads, for instance you can have one with dark auburn hair, a beautiful tan, and brown eyes and then another one with strawberry blond hair, skin of alabaster, and blue eyes, but people will still think that they are related. No matter how different you look the red hair is enough for people to assume a connection, and while in some instances you will see a family of redheads this is not always the case.

Stereotype #2: “"We are all Irish"”. If I had a penny for every time an absolute stranger has come up and asked me if I am Irish, I would be a very rich girl. While I am part Irish, I am also English, Scottish, German, Dutch, and French. For many redheads this is the case, we have mixed genealogies. But why do people assume we are Irish? I don't know... Consider this though, in his book The Redhead Handbook the author Cort Cass presents the following statistic: “"Scotland boasts the highest number of redheads per capita, with thirteen percent of the population ... Ireland follows second with a ten percent. The United States falls in at a paltry four percent."”. So why don't people walk up and ask us if we are Scottish? I don't think I will ever find the answer to this question, but the fact remains that we are not all Irish. In fact some redheads don't have any Irish blood within them.

And last, but not least Stereotype #3: “"We are all crazy, excitable, hot-tempered..."” This is probably the biggest stereotype when it comes to redheads, and in my case it generally is true. When I was younger my family members and friends would tease me and then see how long it would take me to react, claiming that I was hot-tempered. In most cases it wouldn't take long for my temper to flare, proving this stereotype right. However even though I am generally an excitable person, I have many redheaded aunts and cousins who are very patient. Whenever someone would make the same type of remark to these family members, they would generally remain very calm. Many people believe that redheads are not born with a hot temper, but because of the constant teasing and attention that they receive, these people are shaped into an excitable person. Whatever the case is, there are redheads with tempers, but there are also calm and patient redheads, just like those with other hair colors.

In conclusion, we learned the science behind red hair. We then went on to discover some of the most significant redheads in history, and finally we examined the stereotypes placed upon these people. Redheads are a peculiar group of people, and comprise only a small percent of the population. But they have made their mark upon history and I believe they will continue to do so. I am certainly not saying that those with copper hair are more important than those with other hair colors, but you can see how even a small group of people can shape the future. I hope that you have enjoyed this brief look into the lives of redheads, and I would like to leave you with one last quote from Cort Cass, and he says, “"There could be any number of possible explanations for redheaded achievement. For whatever reason, we can be sure that redheads will continue the trend of success for many centuries to come. So what if we can't tan? I'll take my red hair over the ability to produce adequate amounts of melanin any day. Just pass me my SPF 50 sunscreen."”

Faith

This was a speech that I competed with in my junior year of high school.

(Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so...) Have you ever stopped and thought about this statement? If you grew up going to Sunday School, chances are that you had this song drilled into your head week after week. We had to sing it at church, just because the teacher told us to. But did you ever sing it while you were by yourself? I know I did. I sang it when I played with my stuffed animals, when I would brush my doll's hair, and when I would get ready for bed. Even though I am older now, I still sing this song on occasion. This simple song has such a statement of faith that we don't catch when we are young. We claim to know that God loves us, just because we have read it or we heard someone read it to us. But we can't see God, so how did we know He was really there? And how did we know that He loved us? We couldn't prove He did, but we believed. Belief of things unseen is in all people, therefore faith is alive in every heart. Today we will discover how faith is a part of each person. There are three aspects that we will consider, these being religion, science, and personal presuppositions.

Before we move on we must first ask ourselves, what is faith? The word faith is derived from a Greek word that means, persuasion. In essence when you have faith you are fully persuaded of something. It means that if we believe in things that we can't prove are there, that we can't touch, and we can't see, we have faith in them.

Now that we know what faith is, we can move onto the first point, an examination of faith and religion. Today people generally associate faith only with religion. When asked about their faith many people will say, I am Jewish, Christian, Muslim, and the list goes on and on. I am sure you have heard someone say, "I believe in God, so my faith is in Him." There are many gods that people claim to put their trust in, such as Jesus Christ, Allah, or Zeus. To these people there is a higher power, some supreme ruler of over their lives, but this power can not be seen.

On the other hand there are people who claim to have no faith, because they claim to not associate themselves with religion or believe in any god whatsoever. While this may seem true, we must ask ourselves, are these people really without faith just because they don't believe in a specific God? When we stop and look deep into their hearts, we find that there is faith, it is just in a different form. These people believe that in themselves there is a power that allows them to make decisions. They make themselves god, claiming that they are not responsible to any higher power. They are persuaded that they are the highest authority, so they in fact have faith in themselves. Faith that they are capable of making decisions on their own. So whether you put your trust in a God that you can not see, or in yourself, faith is alive in your heart.

Every person studies science, whether they realize it or not. Each day when we make observations about the world around us we are studying science. This brings me to my second point, that science is a form of faith. Today scientists claim that science is an objective study, a study void of emotion, everything is based off of fact. Charles Darwin supported this belief best when he said, "A scientific man ought to have no wishes, no affections, a mere heart of stone." But is this really true? Can science truly ever be free of emotion? There are thousands of debates on many "scientific principles", because every person has a different interpretation of what they see around them.

One of the most popular and controversial debates in the scientific community is that of whether the world came about by a "Big Bang" or if it came about by "Intelligent Design." People claim that the world just happened in the big bang theory. There was an explosion, and our world was created. On the other hand the people who believe in intelligent design contend that a higher power, had a specific design in mind, and this power shaped our world out of nothing. In either case no one can prove that their theory is correct. No one alive today was there when the world was formed. Everyone simply believes their theory to be the right one.

Their view on how the world came into existence greatly influences how they look at everything around them. Those who believe in the Big Bang theory, generally believe in evolution. They feel that through the years humans have evolved from a lower life form. This leads them to believe that they are constantly getting better, that they are more superior than those who have gone before them. But those who believe in Intelligent Design feel that their purpose is to live their lives according to standards or goals that their creator has placed for them. But whichever view they hold, Big Bang or Intelligent Design, they put their trust in something that can not be proven, this is another example of how in every heart faith is alive.

What would you do if someone walked up to you, and said, "The sun will not rise tomorrow. You only have 24 hours to live."? I know that I would simply not believe what this person was saying. I have witnessed the sun rise many times, and I am persuaded that it will happen again. This leads me to my third and final point, how everyone has assumptions, called presuppostions, and these presuppositions are another form of faith.

The first time I heard the word presupposition is when I studied worldviews. The course I took on worldviews opened with a study on our assumptions, and how these assumptions dictate our lives. Now when we assume things to be fact, just because we have witnessed them happen before, we create a personal presupposition. If we stop and examine this, we can see that presuppositions are yet another form of faith. Returning to the example of the sun rise. Almost every person assumes that the sun will rise tomorrow, but is there a guarantee that this will happen? No, there is no guarantee. There are outside factors that could stop the world from its rotation, but we don't worry about this. We believe that tomorrow will come, and we don't spend our time fretting away.

These presuppositions affect our every day lives. British scientist Gregory Bateson said, "Science, like art, religion, commerce, warfare, and even sleep, is based on presuppositions." In this quote he was talking specifically on how science is based off of our beliefs,, but as you can see every aspect of our lives is based on our presuppositions. This is because our lives revolve around what we perceive to be true. Our personal personal presuppositions create our unique identity. Everyone has presuppositions, but most of the time we fail to recognize them. But just because we don't notice them, that doesn't mean they aren't there. These concepts are part of us, part of our daily lives, and yet they aren't visible. We still believe, we still trust, and everyone holds assumptions, these faiths in their hearts.

In conclusion I would like to go back over the points and examples that I have brought forth today. First, in the aspect of religion, there are those who claim that there is a god, and there are those who claim there is no god. But either way, every person puts their faith in something, whether it be in themselves or in a higher power. Second, every person studies science and science is based off of belief. Things that we claim are "fact" are simply based off of what you are persuaded is true, but ultimately can not prove. And third, every person has presuppositions. We believe in something that we can not prove and have no guarantee of, therefore we have faith.

These are just a few examples of how faith dwells in each person, there are many more. When thinking about the importance of our beliefs in regard to our lives today I am reminded of a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. He said, "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." Too often we are afraid to take a stand for what we believe in, because we are afraid of others looking down upon us. We shouldn't be ashamed of our beliefs, because everyone has them. If we were to open up to the world, and if everyone recognized that faith and trust is in every heart then we could break down walls of condemnation, hatred, and mistrust. You are not alone in this world when it comes to believing in something. Everyone has beliefs, everyone is persuaded of something, and everyone puts their trust in unknown things. The time has come for people to be able to freely speak out on what has been pressing on their hearts. When we do this we can work together to face the challenges in our world. We may believe in different things, but the key to solving problems is to embrace our differences and use whatever similarities we have to operate as one. There is one common similarity between all people, and this is faith. Today as you look around you, and see people in all aspects of life, reach out, offer a helping hand. Sharing your life isn't hard as long as you never, ever forget this one simple principle, that faith is alive in every heart.

Imperfection

At the beginning of this semester, my first in college, I came home in a very somber mood. I silently went to the kitchen, got my dinner, and ate. During this whole time I do not think that I lifted my head more than once. After I finished my dad asked me what was wrong. Silently I walked over to my book bag and pulled out the Spanish quiz I had taken a week earlier. As I handed it over to him, tears started to well up in my eyes. By this time he wasn’t quite sure what was wrong. He looked over the quiz and didn’t see anything wrong, so he proceeded to ask what I was upset about. “I got a D!” I told him, now fully crying. “What’s wrong with a D?” he asked and I replied “It’s my first D ever! I don’t know what I did wrong!” After this exclamation he began to laugh. Yes, he started to laugh as I stood in the kitchen blubbering. He told me that it wasn’t the end of the world, and since he is fluent in Spanish showed me the simple mistakes I was making. Yes, this is a true story and yes, I did cry over a grade.
For the majority of my life I have strived for perfection. Good grades, community service, and a good public appearance are constantly at the front of my mind. However, most of the time I make mistakes and my works become tarnished. If I feel like I am not good enough or haven’t tried hard enough then I become frustrated with myself and either completely give up or try again with more fervor. But no matter what I do my attempts at perfection are constantly struck down and my pride is checked. I know I am not alone in this quest for perfection. When we consider the amount of self-help books, amount of cosmetic surgery, and amount of money spent on frivolous items that one does not need it is apparent that our culture is obsessed with perfection. We strive to be more than we can ever be and when we realize that we are not perfect creatures it is devastating.

When I was younger I rejected the image of Barbie. I never really liked her, although I did play with Barbie dolls on occasion. However, most of the time my dolls or my sister’s dolls would end up decapitated. I do know many girls who loved to play with their Barbie dolls, and I just never understood why. Maybe it was the blonde hair that fell perfectly around her face. Maybe it was the fact that she held just about every occupation out there. Maybe it was her wardrobe that was always fresh and fashionable. Little girls idolize these types of concepts. We are planners and want to plan out our lives. When I was younger I remembered my plans for my life. I was going to grow up and have blonde hair, own a restaurant, be a ballerina, and a mother of four (out of those four children two would be adopted). Fast forward ten years and those plans have drastically changed. My little view of the perfect life no longer fits those criteria. To be quite honest, I don’t know what the perfect life even looks like anymore. My idealism is gone for the most part and has been placed with a very pragmatic attitude. Goals are what drive my life, and my view of perfection is achieving these goals. Most of them are good goals to have, but they are generally taken to the extreme. Works drive my life and half the time my heart is not in my actions. I am simply on auto-pilot striving to check things off of my list to accomplish. When I stumble and can’t fulfill these goals I become frustrated, angry, or disappointed in myself. Forgiveness is not something that I easily give to myself. I know a fair amount of people who struggle with this exact issue. If our “to-do lists” are not completed then forms of self-punishment are inflicted. This comes in many forms and breaks my heart. Our culture no longer is about keeping up with the Joneses, but being better than them. If we can’t do this then either we are the problem and that needs to be corrected or we need to consume more products to create the façade that we are better than those around us.

However, what is our attraction to perfection based on? There is a desire, at some level, in every person to be the best in some area, but why? To be honest, I have no clue. This constantly confuses me. I personally hate it when I think that people are better than I am, so why would I want to be better than others? Would I want them to dislike the fact that I can do something better than they can? It makes no sense to me. Every time I think about my search for perfection I think of movies created for teenage girls. I must confess that on rare occasions I find these types of movies amusing (although I will forever be enchanted by war movies. Don’t worry anyone.) In most of these movies there is one girl who just isn’t good enough. She doesn’t have the right clothes, acts like a dork, and isn’t as pretty as the other girls, but at least she has personality! The antagonist generally is a tall, thin, leggy, and beautiful girl who seems to have everything. However, she is a mean girl. Everyone adores her and wants to be her, but she is a generally described as evil personified. Her life seems perfect, but no one truly likes her. I feel that what we feel about perfection in our every day lives. It is something so tempting, something we know we can never have, but at the same time it’s repulsive. The idea of imperfection is something that humans cling to. We strive to seek imperfection in others in order to connect with them. Honestly, when do you find that you become close to those whom you are in community with? Is it when your lives are great and you seem to be on a high? Or is it those bonds created when one failed and needs a shoulder to cry on? Do appreciate your time with your friends more when you all just got As on your tests or when you both just tripped up the stairs and ended up laughing at yourselves and each other? I believe that imperfection creates a stronger bond than the quest of perfection ever could. Yes, it is beneficial to better yourself and strive to get the most out of life, but recognizing that imperfection can be beautiful is something that ought to be learned. When something has been chipped and broken, it becomes interesting and provides a story. Imperfection creates character and resilience. It illuminates the strengths that you possess if you allow it to. This is a concept that I struggle with, but it is one that I am learning is important. If we can learn to accept imperfection we can also learn to accept grace which is one of the most exquisite gifts that one can receive. Learning that we can not go it alone, and that we need the strength and forgiveness of others we cross paths with is excruciatingly important. Allowing yourself to be fully known, imperfection included, is one of the most beautiful gifts that you can give to the world. The more we pretend and try to perfect our lives the more miserable we become and it affects those around us. So today I guess I would just encourage you to find those areas of imperfection in your lives and embrace them. You can work on them and improve yourself, but learn to accept grace when you fail. Do not allow your mistakes to bog down your life and constantly be striving to shape your life in a positive manner. Apply yourself, make sure you have worthy goals, and put your heart into fulfilling your goals. Do not get stuck on auto-pilot and strive towards an unhealthy perception of life. Finally, allow yourself to learn and appreciate your flaws. Allow the light to shine through those holes in your life and illuminate the beauty from within.

All You Need Is Love

“All you need is love. All you need is love. All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.” For my freshman writing seminar I had to write an essay on the Beatles, and for the past three weeks these lyrics (Among other Beatle ballads) have been reverberating in my head. During this time I was forced into analyzing their claim because I could not get them to leave. A concept of universal love emanates from them stating that as long as we have love and relationships nothing else is needed. Obviously this is not true. We depend on food and water to supply, but physical nourishment can not quench the hunger of our souls. Many people who know me know that I am a firm believer in community and relationships. It can not be disputed that the concept of community is the basis of society. Politics, commerce, religion, and many other aspects of our lives revolve around our relationships with those that surround us. At the heart of every healthy relationship is mutual respect and love from the other.
When I say love I am not referring to the distorted view of love that our culture promotes on a daily basis. It isn’t superficial, greedy, or full of lust. The definition for love that I am referring to is what is outlined in 1 Corinthians 13. The Amplified Bible provides us with this definition saying “Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].” Whether or not you would describe yourself as a Christian, that chapter demonstrates the criteria for pure love that I believe everyone can accept.

Our lives are centered on our connections with other people, and often our emotional health is intertwined with our community. From the earliest of times we can see people forming themselves into groups. There are innumerable amounts of relationships that exist today. However, not all of these relationships are healthy. We live in a world that does not promote mutual respect, and this is something that I struggle with observing. Social hierarchy, objectification, and other forms of degradation are all around me. I am not going to make the claim that I do not participate in this type of behavior on occasion, I do. It is not something I am proud of, but it does happen. I can not tell you how many times I have wished to see true love being promoted and this grotesque monster done away with. I want to see people cared for, looked after, respected, and truly loved.

I have many friends that come to me seeking advice, and relationship issues are what they commonly come to me for. Quite frankly I am not sure why they choose to come to me, because many times I am in the same position that they are in. But through this I can see a desperate cry for love at the core of every person. It becomes even more apparent to me when I turn on the radio, open a book, or watch television or movies. I believe that the number of songs, books, and shows/movies that contain some form of a love or relational story far outnumber those that do not. I believe that this stems from an inherent longing to love and be loved in return. If that desire is not fulfilled then we feel broken inside. Mother Teresa echoed this sentiment when she said “Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.” Community is a basic longing in each person and I think that it is time for us to start reaching out and touching the lives of others. I don’t know how that may look for you, maybe it is helping a friend with homework. Maybe it is baking cookies for your neighbor. Maybe it is teaching Sunday School. Maybe it is traveling to a foreign country on a mission trip. There are many forms in which love can manifest itself, and one of my passions is seeing others reach out to their communities. This brings me to the end of my rant. I felt like sharing what has been on my heart ever since that song got stuck in my head. I hope that you all have wonderful days and I wanted to let you know that I am more than happy to be in community with you.

Unconditional Love

"I will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven."

"If you're lost you can look, and you will find me. Time after time. If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting. Time after time."

These quotes are from two of my favorite songs, "Your Guardian Angel" and "Time After Time". Now most people might find this shocking since, well, these are lyrics about love. This is something girly and very "un-Ashley-ish." But I will let you in on a little secret, at heart I really am a romantic person. Not only that, but I also have a huge heart for people. Any quote, song, book, movie, or story that is about pure love, I am drawn to. One of my favorite things to think about when listening or reading these stories is the concept of unconditional love. Love that is always there, no matter what the circumstances are. Love that has no rules, no regulations. Love that never ends. Love that simply is.

Now when most people think of love they usually will make some connection to chick-flicks. Personally, I have never been a fan of these movies, because they are just so... unrealistic. However, there have been a few that have caught my attention, and I have really enjoyed them. One of these movies is "50 First Dates". This movie is a beautiful story about a young lady who suffers from memory loss, due to a car accident. Every morning she wakes up and thinks that it is the morning of the accident, so she lives her life playing that day over and over. But as with all love stories we know that she has to meet a guy who falls head over heels for her, and that is exactly what happens. The problem with this is that the next morning she will wake up with no memory of this man. This means that he has to continually reintroduce himself to her, and he has to continue pursuing her anew, every day. At the end of this movie we see a beautiful marriage between these two characters. Instead of abandoning this woman, the man in this story decides to document their life together on tape. He decides to do this each and every day. When his wife wakes up every morning, she watches a video of their life together. He knows that she must do this in order to show her what is happening in her life and why she is living with him. I can't even imagine what that would be like... Knowing that if I can't record the memories for him, my husband wouldn't know who I was. Having to reestablish our relationship every day would be extremely difficult. And that is why I love this movie. Relationships are hard, and they take a lot of work to maintain. This movie reminds me of that. But it also shows how this man is willing to sacrifice a life of ease for someone he truly loves. He gives up his own life to help his wife rediscover hers, each and every day. He never leaves her. He never abandons her. He simply loves her, with no reservations.

Love without reservation is difficult to find, although it can come in many forms, such as family members, friends, or significant others. But when you do find it, it is a rare treasure that you will want to hold onto. I believe that I have this type of love coming from my family. It is evident that no matter what I do, they will always be there for me. For this I am extremely grateful. I also believe that I have found this love in several of my friends. No matter how many times I screw up in our relationship they help me up, and continue to be there for me. Now I am not saying that any of these individuals have completely grasped how to give love unconditionally, but I do see aspects of this type of love coming through in their lives.

I believe that as humans the complete concept of unconditional love in our lives is unattainable, but that shouldn't stop us. I know that no matter how much I try to apply this concept into my life, I constantly fail. I become frustrated with myself and want to give up. But that is what my family and friends are for. Through their love for me I find inspiration to continue to love others. Ultimately, however, my love does not come from myself, it comes from God. The characteristic of unconditional love is one that is frequently attributed to Him. When we choose to let him Him, He will use us as instruments for His glory. He will let His love shine through in our lives to touch the hearts of others.

So as I sit here trying to sort out these thoughts, all that I can realize is that there is a reason why those two opening quotes are two of my favorite quotes. It's because as humans we want to be treasured, appreciated, held, cared for, and loved. We want to know that no matter what we do, or how we mess up, someone will always be there for us. That no matter what happens, they will say, "I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven."